Hey everyone and welcome back to my blog! Today’s post is going to be a slightly heavier topic, I thought I would kind of publicly address my issues past and present with anxiety and sort of check in with my current emotions. I know that anxiety and depression is something a lot of people have dealt, and are currently dealing with, and I thought it would be beneficial for myself and others to open up about my previous and current struggles. Check out my longer word vomit post below!
In college my anxiety and depression really flared up and hit me hard. I was failing most of my classes freshman year and had such bad social anxiety that I was honestly petrified of leaving my dorm room. It got to a point in my freshman year that I was spending all my money on groceries and snacks from the grocery store because I was too fearful of going to the dining hall alone, and if I was out of food then I just didn’t eat a meal for dinner that night. I eventually had to face my issues after being on academic probation and eventually sought help from my campus health center after fleeing a class before I had a presentation due. I was having panic attacks every week, multiple times a week, which just added to the underlying depression about my situation. Over time I got better at managing my social anxiety and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone more, with help from new friends and meeting my now boyfriend.
Professional Anxiety Check In:
In my professional life I am pretty good at managing my anxiety for the sake of work. I’m pretty much functional in my life now, having gone a long time since having a panic attack, though I still have the occasional flares of anxiety pop up. When I was job searching I had a lot of anxiety around returning phone calls or emails, but I am usually good at taking a moment to be anxious and then doing whatever needs to be done. I also had a lot of anxiety over taking my current job, since I was fearful about needing a change in schedule to make my work comment possible. Overall while I’m still an awkward mess of a person I can handle social situations at work without becoming a pile of goo, which is pretty nice now. Basically, I can handle whatever is thrown at me for the sake of a paycheck, which I think is a pretty important life skill to have.
Personal Anxiety Check In:
My personal life isn’t a happy go lucky as my professional one. I’ve always had major social anxiety issues, that was what I was diagnosed with back in college. The move between states has been kinda tough on me in the regard. I’ve always had trouble making friends, and now being in the adult world with no classes to meet people or money to join associations or organizations, I’ve discovered just how hard it is to make friends and plans. Don’t get me wrong, I am friendly with people at work, just not enough to make plans outside of work or anything like that. We still find places and things to do on the weekends, but I have to admit it’s been hard moving somewhere were we know absolutely no one. I find myself missing the college days when we had our friends as roommates and there was someone always around to hang out or go on an adventure. As I’m typing this I’m getting ready to go out solo to a political rally, which is a pretty scary thing for me, but it was something I absolutely could not have done five years ago, so I am immensely proud of my progress so far. Who knows, maybe I’ll meet someone interesting there to hang out with?
Well there we have it, a word vomit post about all my issues and fears, something I honestly never thought I would talk about online. What’s some progress you have made recently that you’re proud of? Let me know in the comments below! Have a wonderful day!